Couple try to bring unwell 2-year-old son on friend vacation, demand back non-refundable $2000 when told they can't come: 'Morgan told us we were selfish and horrible friends'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 19, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

It is an unfortunate truth that every so often, vacationing with friends is a much nicer idea in theory than it is in practice. While it is fully possible to go on a friend trip and have a wonderful time, it can also bring out people's more unpleasant traits and uncomfortable relationship dynamics. It is the kind of thing that can either go very well or end very badly.

The more people who are involved in a vacation, the more this is true, and if kids are involved, there are also a lot more things that can potentially go wrong. Becoming a parent is always going to make certain activities more risky, and this has to be accounted for in the planning stage. If it isn't, then there is always a possibility that certain experiences are going to leave a lot more regret than enjoyment, and maybe even jeopardize some relationships in the first place.

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  • 01

    AITA for not reimbursing my friend after telling her she can’t come on our trip?

    I really need some perspective here because I have multiple people telling me I'm the a h le. My partner (30M) and I (29F) are planning a trip with two of our couple friends to a destination a six hour drive away. We booked a super nice AirBnB that was $2,000 per couple total for four nights. We all paid a nonrefundable deposit back in January for $1,000 per couple. We verified with everyone that they were okay with not getting that money back no matter what. We all just paid the last $1,000 per
    via glass-stair-hallway
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    Cheezburger Image 10507581696
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One woman found herself in the middle of an issue like this after a friend vacation she and her partner had been planning with another two couples met an unexpected hitch. In one of the couples was a woman who was expecting and had some health issues that made her especially fragile. The other couple had a two-year-old son they hoped to bring with them on the vacation.

    Things became difficult when the toddler contracted an infectious illness a few days before the holiday. His mom asked the other couples if it was still OK for him to come along, and they decided that it was too risky. 

    After hearing the news, she demanded back the $2000 share they had paid on the AirBnB, but the other couples were only willing to give back $1000, as half had been a non-refundable deposit. The parents quickly got upset, leaving one of the women dealing with this wondering if they had been too harsh.

  • 03
    For context: Anna (29F) and Kyler (29M) are pregnant with their first baby. Anna has multiple autoimmune diseases and other issues that have made her pregnancy extremely high risk. Morgan (27F) and Danny (29M) have a two-year old son who they were planning on bringing on the trip. The situation: Morgan just texted Anna and I to tell us that her son came down with severe Hand Foot and Mouth disease but asked if it was okay for them to still come (and bring their son) on the trip. Morgan is a nurs
    via glass-stair-hallway
  • 04
    Anna and I chatted privately and Anna did not feel comfortable because of her autoimmune issues and high-risk pregnancy. Because of this, we told Morgan that we were no longer comfortable with them coming. Morgan immediately came back asking us to Venmo her for the $2,000 they had already spent for the AirBnB. She was very demanding and accusatory, which rubbed me the wrong way. I told her I was comfortable sending them the $1,000 refundable part of the cost, but not the $1,000 nonrefundable par
    via glass-stair-hallway
  • 05
    Morgan absolutely lost her sh and told us we were selfish and horrible friends. She accused us of being greedy and valuing money more than friendship. She said since we were the ones telling them they couldn't go that we should pay them back for everything they had spent. I'm torn. On one hand I get their frustration, on the other hand I feel like this is part of the risk you take when traveling with children. I also do not have kids though, so I don't have the full perspective. For context if i
    via glass-stair-hallway
  • 06
    EDIT to answer some FAQs: • The trip was Morgan and Danny's idea, they found the AirBnB and were comfortable with the cost cause Danny had gotten a bonus at work. • All six of us work and make good money. Enough that $2,000 for a trip is not a big deal. • The trip is to a beach house where we were planning on spending the whole trip. Anna was comfortable going because we weren't planning on doing things outside of the beach and house. • The trip was originally adults only, but about a month ago
    via glass-stair-hallway
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    via Roman Marchenko
  • 08

    Most outsiders agreed that the parents were being unreasonable.

    throwaway1975764 Science is the reason they cannot come. They have a sick and contagious family member. Even without anyone's autoimmune issue or any pregnancy it would be 100% unreasonable for them to attend. NTA
    via throwaway1975764
  • 09
    Strong-Log5969 Flip it on them. Tell Morgan that you and Anna can't come because you're uncomfortable with Morgan's sick kid coming. Then ask her to reimburse the $4,000
    via Strong-Log5969
  • 10
    Gold Adhesiveness_80 NTA. Even if Anna wasn't pregnant who asks to brings their SICK CONTAGIOUS child on a group VACATION. Like I'm sorry but losing money on non refundable trips is just a part of parenting. I can't even count how much money I've lost on missed concerts, missed events, missed reservations as a parent. I'm disgusted that that they want to drag their contagious child out in public. A h le parenting.
    via Gold_Adhesiveness_80
  • 11
    vblsuz Not to mention how selfish they are to put a sick cranky child in a car for 6 hours to drive to the beach. Can you imagine how miserable they will be. When my kids got hfm they had soars all over and I can't imagine what sand would do to those wounds. They S__k.
    via vblsuz
  • 12
    Elliewick Imo they weren't actually planning on still coming, she only said that they would still come is because they knew OP and Anna would never be ok with it (same as any sane person) and this way she had an excuse to get all of her money back
    via Elliewick
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    ValleySparkles NTA. Morgan knows it's wrong to bring a sick kid even if everyone else were relatively healthy. That's part of the cost of being a parent - losing deposits on things you can't do because your kid is sick. She was the AH for planning to bring a sick kid and forcing you to be the decision-maker. If she's invited again, it sounds like you need daycare-style rules for when people need to stay home if they're sick.
    via ValleySparkles
  • 14
    EffectiveSet4534 How is this a couples trip and people are bringing kids? Sicks kids at that? Oof
    via EffectiveSet4534
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    glass-stair-hallway OP It was originally supposed to be a couple's trip with no kids, but about a month ago Morgan and Danny said they didn't want to be away from their kid that long. We all were planning on having private bedrooms/ bathroom so we figured it was okay if their kid came.
    via glass-stair-hallway
  • 16
    Outside-Plant2860 "She accused us of being greedy and valuing money more than friendship" sounds like Morgan is projecting since that clearly describes her. NTA
    via Outside-Plant2860
  • 17
    wicked-valentina Morgan and Danny are struggling financially but they sprang for a trip that cost $2,000 per couple? ? There are WAY cheaper vacations to go on, especially when you're bringing along a child! NTA, though. They sound like very silly people with a history of poor decision making. If you preserve that friendship it will come back around to bite you in the bot anyway. Counting down to the moment they call you to beg you for a "loan" they won't pay back. If they haven't already.
    via wicked-valentina
  • 18
    I_waz_Perce If I had to pay a non refundable $1000, I would have taken out holiday insurance.
    via I_waz_Perce
  • 19
    Austins_Mom Especially with kids. I don't understand parents who don't think of this.
    via Austins_Mom
  • 20
    Substantial-Play5201 NTA And you need to unfriend anyone who is willing to expose you to disease. Secondly, I've got a decade on you guys and experience has taught me to NEVER go on joint vacations. Ever. You can tell friends where and when you are going, but they need to book their own travel and their own lodgings. If they back out, it doesn't affect you and there aren't any hurt feelings over money.
    via Substantial-Play5201
  • 21
    Sharkattackme3 As a parent of young children, it's kind of the risk you take with booking vacations. Happens ALL THE TIME
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  • 22
    prpslydistracted NTA. If Morgan and Danny are struggling why are they going on this trip?
    via prpslydistracted
  • 23
    jcatleather Losing a trip because your kid got sick is just part of the deal of having kids. Being willing to put her friends LIFE at risk and her pregnancy at risk for a trip? That makes your "friend" the AH.
    via jcanleather
  • 24
    NTA lamWhatIAmStill Non-refundable deposits are not negotiable. NOBODY gets them back. You didn't decide to bring a child that could literally threaten the life of your other friend and the baby she's carrying. Arrogant, entitled people are truly fascinating. They think the world owes them, even when they're the ones who cause a problem.
    via IamWhatIAmStill
  • 25
    Katcar2007 Why did they come up with the idea, find the Air BnB, organize the ADULTS ONLY TRIP, then decide 4 days is too long to be away from their kid. That would have been part of the conversation from the minute the planning began. Tbh, taking away the highly contagious illness, autoimmune issues, and high risk pregnancy, if my friends planned an adults only trip then sprung it on me that they wanted to bring their kid a week or two before the trip I'd bail. I'm not interested in vacationing
    via Katcar2007
  • 26

    The woman was thankful for a second opinion.

    UPDATE: thank you all so much for the feedback, ideas, and advice. We talked to Anna and Kyler and told them we would support whatever they decided since they were the ones the most uncomfortable with Morgan and Danny coming. They liked the idea of splitting the nonrefundable deposit three ways (each paying $333, so Anna/Kyler and my partner and I will each pay $833 back to Morgan and Danny but they are still out $333). Ultimately though, I think this has shown us a lot about who Morgan and Dann
    via glass-stair-hallway

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friendship aita kids friends illness parenting couples argument sick reddit thread Reddit money family vacation vacation
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